gratitude party...

Ever been to a gratitude party??  Yeah. Me neither, until last week that is.  As a friend told me, it was a party that I just had to be at!  So I got in touch with the organizer at the Ottawa Art Gallery and kinda invited myself.  The response was an enthusiastic YES.  We'd love to have you!  And so I went.

A lovely, simple event that was art-filled.
And heart-filled. 

See for yourself.

 

gratefully yours,
jag



wherever gratitude goes...

It was time to step out of cyberspace once again, and back into the community.

They loved *the gratitude project* at ArtsPark.

They loved *the gratitude project* at Your Story Retreat.

But how would it be received by people just going about their business, on a busy street, in the middle of a summer work day?  Hence the experimentation component of this “public engagement experiment”!

On Monday, August 19^th, the lovely Chrisann joined me as we set up a pop-up gratitude project on Sparks Street, a busy pedestrian street in downtown Ottawa.  We set up during lunch hour, when hundreds of public servants and tourists mill about for reasons known only to them.  Admittedly, I was nervous.  How would people react to *the gratitude project*?  Would I be able to just put myself out there, and detach from the outcome?  Well, there was only one way to find out…

In our 90 minutes on Sparks Street, we collected close to 30 expressions of gratitude for our “gratitude wall” (a re-purposed garden trellis)!  Several people came to us without prompting, drawn by the visual expression of our key  question: what are you grateful for?  Others stopped when invited: hi there – would you like to participate in the gratitude project?  Either out of politeness or out of genuine curiosity, they took a few moments to hear about the project and participate. However the majority of people just walked on by.  I would even say some people executed what appeared to be highly-trained, tactical avoidance manoeuvres!  It became clear that, if you are standing on the street with a clipboard over lunch hour and attempting to make eye contact, it is assumed you want money. In some instances, they would direct a quick “no-thank-you” our way, while with others, we simply didn’t exist.  If-I-don’t-look-at-you; you-are-not-there.   Our friendly greeting was met with stone-cold silence. Very interesting! (This is an experiment, remember?! J)

One of my favourite moments was the gentleman who quickly said “no thanks” as he walked by, but who then turned around and said: “actually yes, I would like to participate. tell me more about this…”.  I loved that!  It showed me that, even though people kept on walking, they were probably thinking about it.  I mean, how can you read the question what are you grateful for? and not even think about a response??  You may not share it, or barely even admit it to yourself, but chances are good that you. are. thinking. about. it.

Another wonderful outcome of setting up in this environment was the potential for reaching tourists.  A couple of the items posted were in languages other than English or French – gratitude goes beyond language!  And, as in the other locations, wonderful conversations were had.  Those who get it, really get it.    So affirming! 

I’m glad we did this… and that I was able to detach personally and really look at this as an experiment.  Society as a giant laboratory.  If ever YOU are interested in trying this out in your community, get in touch by leaving a comment here, or via our Facebook page.  I can share the logo and the list of questions I use to engage people.  Or, you can do your own thing and let me know how it goes!

Wherever gratitude goes, gratitude grows.

gratefully yours,

jag

this. from a beautiful young japanese woman who was worried about her english.

looks pretty perfect to me.

 this. from a young woman who picked the question: "what person you've never met are you most grateful for?"  (i loved her sense of humour)

this. just a sampling of the many who expressed gratitude for family.

it was certainly the theme of the day.

grateful for growth...

I've been home from my West Coast Adventure for a whole 10 days now, and I am only now beginning to feel settled.  The first few days were challenging - I felt antsy and lost, neither here nor there.  I suppose it was to be expected, and I did leave myself several days before returning to work, but I didn't quite expect it to feel like it did.

uprooted.

restless.

lost in my own space.

My own home seemed foreign to me. I couldn't remember where I put things, or what it was that made me feel grounded here.  But, of course, I trusted that I would recover.

Even now, there is a part of me that wonders if the woman who left on June 15 is the same woman who returned on July 12. How have I changed? Because I know I have - I just can't articulate it yet.  I really liked the woman who travelled... the confident jag who sought out adventure!  And I'm not ready to say good-bye to her.  So...

how can I invite her to stick around?
how do I make space for this broader, bigger, braver... me?

At times, I am here. but I am not really here.
I am still travelling.

BE. HERE.

grateful for the growth,
jag

walking the talk of gratitude...

OK.  When I started this project, I just knew it would challenge me... It would ask me to view my own situations through the lens of gratitude.  It would look me straight on and say: 

walk the talk.

Just yesterday, I read an update on the VIA Rail Web site saying that their labour negotiations with the Canadian Auto Workers' (CAW) union are ongoing.  Although they remain optimistic, should they be unable to reach an agreement with CAW, the union will likely follow through on its stated intent to go on strike on June 14 at 00:01a.m.

My train is scheduled to leave Toronto on June 15.

(sigh)

My first reaction was a quickening of the heart beat, a rise in blood pressure and the early signs of all-out panic.  The sound of Aaaaargh! resonated in our home.  I have been saving for this trip for years.  I have been planning for months.  I have been preparing for weeks. The cross-country train ride is the very springboard that launched the idea of *the gratitude project: dare to be grateful*.

Oh but wait!  VIA Rail has set up a contingency plan to maintain basic service.  All good, except that basic service does not include sleeper accommodations and dining service on the Toronto-Vancouver line.  Do I really want to ride economy?

As I felt the blood pounding in my temples, I have to say, I was surprised at how quickly the following question popped into my head:

What would this situation look like

through the lens of gratitude?

Whaaat?!  You mean this gratitude stuff is actually kicking in?!?  So I stopped my thoughts-run-riot (yes, it can be done) and I re-directed my energy towards this question.  What DOES this situation look like through the lens of gratitude??  It looks like this:

• I am grateful that my train is not leaving on the day BEFORE possible strike action, as this is the case for many travellers, I'm sure.
• I am grateful VIA is offering the chance to cancel my ticket for a full refund at any time up to the planned departure, leaving me almost two full days to make alternate plans.
• I am grateful labour talks are continuing.
• I am grateful for Facebook, which is allowing me to keep in close touch with what is happening at VIA Rail - and with other travellers.
• I am grateful for a life view that does not lead me to blame VIA Rail, or the workers, or anyone else who might be within reach.
• I am grateful for a Hubby who is relaxed and does not add any negative energy to the situation. ("Worse case, we'll just fly you to Vancouver", says he...)
• I am grateful that *the gratitude project* is evolving to be more than a train ride. 

And so, we wait.  (With fingers crossed. :-))

gratefully yours,
jag

11 days and counting...

How is it that I've been planning this trip for months now, and all of a sudden:  IT'S HERE!  (Well. Almost.)  Eleven days and counting.

It's as if I have been planning someone else's dream all this time.  These kind of things are not meant to happen to me. I mean, who am I to take off for a month on my own and travel across the country?  Right?!  And yet, accommodations have been booked. Travel has been confirmed.  Connections with friends have been made.  I have done all these things!  On my own. 

I keep thinking of things I need to do to get ready, then I start wondering what else I am forgetting!  I'm really not used to this kind of thing.  What if I don't even know what I'm supposed to be remembering. (!)

Truth be told: I'm sceered.

There. I've said it.  I am excited AND I am terrified.  In a good way. (I guess.)

*the gratitude project: dare to be grateful* has brought me so far outside my comfort zone that I figure I may as well keep stretching.  Then I think, in order to s-t-r-e-t-c-h, I need to keep one foot inside my comfort zone, with the other venturing out further and further. (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

What would happen if I gently, bravely, and decidedly stood outside of my comfort zone - with both feet? What if I chose to write a new internal script, one that says: I can do this. 

Yes, what if...

Stay tuned.

And in the meantime, I went to see this film on IMAX this past weekend.  Amazing!  Certainly gave me an appreciation for this journey I am taking... for the rails I will be riding.  Lives were sacrificed to create this marvel.  And in just 11 days, I will become part of that story too.

gratefully yours,
jag

reaching for the words...

I’ll be honest: it’s difficult for me to put words to the experience of bringing *the gratitude project: dare to be grateful* out into the community.  I keep leaning into words like overwhelming, exhilarating, exhausting, gratifying, positive…  It is clear that this initiative struck a chord with the people who attended Hintonburg ArtsPark.  Let’s face it: I live in a very grateful community!   What I didn’t expect was how easily people would “get it”… how open they would be with sharing their gratitude… how seamlessly we would progress to very deep levels of conversation… and how quickly they invited me to be part of other events or initiatives.  Yikes!  Oh the places we could go… 

As I continue to process the experience, I’ll leave you with some images from the day.  I'll upload a few more on our Facebook page.  Many thanks to my friend Stuart Hickox for joining me and serving as an amazing ambassador for *the gratitude project*!



ready and waiting...

this girl kept coming back to add more. "I love this - it makes me think!" she'd say...

gratitude

what person you have never met are you most grateful for?

what makes you happy?

grateful for...

what decision are you most grateful for?

grateful for...

even Mayor Jim Watson and City Councillor Katherine Hobbs got into the spirit

tag team gratitude ambassadors: stuart & jag...

just jag - so very grateful for it all!

  gratefully yours,

jag

stepping out of cyberspace...

It's hard not to be grateful following a weekend like the one I just had.  It was a perfect blend of being productive around the home, and spending time with good friends, and lounging around reading a good book, and going on a movie date with Hubby... Truly, it had all the makings of a great weekend!

A few more details for my upcoming West Coast Adventures have fallen into place.  Aaaand, I am excited to share that *the gratitude project: dare to be grateful* will be leaving the comfort of cyberspace and will be venturing out into the community!  Yes, that's right... we are bringing a new dimension to the project by engaging people in face-to-face conversation around gratitude at next Saturday's ArtsPark 2013 in Hintonburg (Ottawa).  We hope to create a "Wall of Gratitude" by inviting people to share what they are grateful for in writing.  If you are in the area, do drop by and say hello - and of course, share your gratitude! We will be there from 10am to 12:30pm.  As you can see here, there will be many activities to keep you and your family fully entertained!

This is an exciting time... Today, I am especially grateful for the gift of creativity and curiosity in my life. 

What are you especially grateful for today?

gratefully yours,
jag

head west, young man (or woman!)...

Six weeks from today, I will be travelling. 
On a train.
Across the country.

This West Coast Adventure of mine - a one month solo journey to the other side of Canada and a long-held fervent wish of mine - is the event that triggered the whole idea of *the gratitude project*.  I will be riding the rails across this incredibly beautiful country of mine! (And before you say, yes but what about the eastern part?!  I've already had the privilege covering that portion by train. :-)) 

Excited, yes.  But I am fundamentally an introvert and part of me was afraid I would spend the entire train ride in solitude.  I know I could!  And there is nothing wrong with that, but it's not what I was looking for.  Not this time. 

So, as I was swimming in gratitude for the blessings in my own life, I wondered if I could use the train trip as a vehicle to collect stories from others... to reach out and find out what they might be grateful for!  A chat here... a discussion there... and next thing you know, this idea had expanded into a year-long creative project.

Not surprisingly, *the gratitude project* is still a work in progress...
Ideas have come.
Ideas have gone.
And ideas will be making their way towards the sunset.

In just six weeks, I will be travelling.
And the West Coast Adventure will be underway.

Stay tuned... I look forward to sharing the journey with you!

gratefully yours,
jag

emerging from silence...

photo by jag

Emerging from silence is never easy for me.  I struggle with it. Every. Single. Time.  And this time is no different.  Although, I must admit, I did not reach a very deep level of internal silence during this retreat.  I'm in a creative phase right now... a fertile time of ideas with a mind that resists slowing down.  What I did manage, however, was to honour my need for a physical slowing down.  In other words...

I slept.
And slept.
And slept.

Then I had a nap.

I had moments of stillness of body where I would just... 

sit
and listen
and ponder.

photo by jag

I went to the woods and made direct contact with the trees and the mulch-y forest floor. 

I breathed in the spicy aroma.

I attended a concert featuring a solo performance by a young robin perched upon the top branch of the endlessly tall pine tree outside my room window.

And I prayed some goodbyes.


The recent death of my aunt brought me back in touch with other losses that had not been properly or fully acknowledged.  "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

And I was.

It sounds much to simplistic to say "I am grateful" for my time at Stillpoint.  So I won't just speak my gratitude.

I will stand in it.
I will claim it and own it.
I will pray it.
I will express it by doing my best to fully accept and live the day I am given.

I will breathe it in.
I will breathe it out.

gratefully yours,
jag

be grateful... be quiet...

self-portrait by jag

The silence is there within us. What we have to do is to enter into it, to become silent, to become the silence. The purpose of meditation and the challenge of meditation is to allow ourselves to become silent enough to allow this interior silence to emerge. Silence is the language of the spirit.

— John Main, OSB in Word into Silence


In the fall of 2000, my life was in free-fall crisis.  I reached out to a friend and asked her if she knew of a place I could go and "hide" for a while.  I clearly remember saying: I need to step away from the world - even for just a few days.  She knew of a place... a silent house.  A place called Stillpoint House of Prayer.  It was small and welcoming.  Unstructured and affordable.  Easily accessible.  And when I called on that October day - at the height of fall colours season - they had a room available.  In hindsight, I believe that my Healing Place had been awaiting my arrival.

During that first visit - my first experience of unstructured silent retreat - I experienced unconditional love and acceptance.  I felt deeply that, no matter what would happen in the days ahead, I would be OK.  It was the beginning of an ongoing relationship with, and befriending of, Silence.  And that is a gift for which I am ever grateful.

This week, I will be returning to Stillpoint for a 5-day retreat into silent solitude.  I try to go twice a year, spring and fall, for a "spiritual tune-up".  No TV. No computer, iPad or iPhone. No radio.  Just me... Being. Attempting to become the Silence, to converse in the language of the Spirit.

Because I had both "gratitude" and "silence" in mind as I sat down to write this, I googled the two words together and, after a click here and a click there, I was lead to this video of Timber Hawkeye at TEDxHonolulu (2012).  In it, he states that the two concepts that will change the world are:

1. Be GRATEFUL
2. Be QUIET

I can attest that these two practices have changed MY world - I have no reason to doubt it could change yours too. 



gratefully yours,
jag

p.s.  Be sure to stop by the blog while I'm away - I've arranged to have some goodies delivered in my absence... :-)

good grief...

Today, I am grateful for grief... this phenomenon that gives me permission to feel the full impact of sadness and loss without thinking I'm losing my mind. It unites me with others who are experiencing the same loss. It's one of my membership cards into humanity. No apologies necessary.

My aunt passed away on Saturday. Unlike last week, this time I can say "I was there". I had the privilege of being by her side for the last two days of her life. And that is a gift no one can take away from me. Today, we will gather as family and community and we will say continue to remember her. And yes, I grieve.

And yesterday, I cried as I heard my husband's voice on the phone. He was in Boston to cheer on friends who were running in the Boston Marathon. I am grateful that he is safe, as are all our friends. But our running community has been hard hit. I grieve the loss of innocence... the loss of safety surrounding this activity that is such a big part of our lives.

I attended the Boston Marathon as a spectator in 2010, 2011 and again last year. Hubby was running and it was a cause for celebration! The atmosphere is unlike anything I had ever experienced, mostly due to the pride & recognition of the hard work required for each and every runner to get to that famous start line in Hopkinton. I have stood at the very spot where the explosions created their chaos and horror. My heart aches for all who were there: for those who were directly affected by the blast most of all... but also for those who were still running and who, miles away from the finish line, were told their race was over... and for those who had already crossed the finish line and whose accomplishment has been eclipsed by this senseless act... For this, and for reasons I can't even articulate yet, I grieve.

Good grief. Welcome to the human race.

Yes, even today, I am...
gratefully yours,
jag

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

recognizing what is there amidst what is not there...

It's been a tough weekend, emotionally.

A beloved family member was admitted to palliative care... she appears to be nearing the end of her cancer journey. She's 1000 km away and I can't be there.
 
Another beloved family member is at the beginning of his cancer journey and his community came together for an amazing benefit concert in his honour. It was 1000 km away and I couldn't be there.

The decision to leave my home province is one I made many years ago and I have never regretted it. But at times like these, it's tough. It's as if the sadness is deepened by the distance... my powerlessness is acutely felt because I can't do the simple things like stop in to offer help. Or pick up groceries. Or sit with my aunt at the hospital. Or offer my mom a hug. I'm 1000 km away and I'm not there.

On Monday morning, I came across these words:

"Help us to recognize and to rejoice in what is given, Holy One, even in the midst of what is not given." - Richard Rohr

If this isn't a call to practice gratitude, then I don't know what is!  And so, reflecting on this, here is a small sampling of what has been given this weekend:

• Facebook.  Yes, Facebook. A family group where news, and photos, and videos can be shared.  And family members who take the time to post and keep us informed.
• Texting.  Yes, texting. And a late-night "conversation" with my cousin who was sitting at my aunt's bedside... sharing thoughts and being able to write "tell her I send my love!" and being able to read "she sends love back!".
• Telephones.  Yes, telephones. And chats with my Mom who lives afar.  And chats with my sister, who lives nearby.  Sharing news.

I am grateful for these words that encouraged me to look beyond what wasn't there... and to recognize what was.  And this past weekend, technology seems to have been cause for rejoicing.

Is there something you can be grateful for today, in the midst of what is not there?

gratefully yours,
jag

the story of easter...

photo by jag

I was raised Catholic and I am grateful for the spiritual framework that has given me. I recently saw an expression that aptly describes me: it seems I am of the "jesus, yes - church, no" persuasion. That made me smile. :-) And it's pretty darn accurate, for today anyway.

More and more, Lent and Easter make me even more grateful for having been given this beautiful tradition. The narrative of the Easter story really resonates with me, all the more so if I take the time to step back during the season of Lent. This year was no different. Good Friday reminded me that all things come to an end. There is always a dying that is a necessary part of my life: death to my illusions, my ego-based expectations, my denial of what might be staring me right in the face. An ending. And Easter Sunday told me that every new beginning must start with that very ending.

Between these two extremities, there was Holy Saturday... a time of "darkness" where we are called to accept the loss. Call it grief, or surrender, or letting go, or acceptance. Yes, the message of Holy Saturday for me is that we need to sit in the unknowing sometimes. Most times actually. We need to befriend the darkness and trust the seeming absence of god. It's the time of "What the hell just happened here?! I don't know what to do with this!"

Did all this happen in 3 days?  Of course not.  And neither does the Easter story, IMO. It takes the time it takes.

This is powerful stuff. Good stuff.  I see that the Easter story is told in the very substance of my life. And most likely yours too. And this is what good sacred scripture is capable of doing - and for that, I am grateful.  Hallelujah!

gratefully yours,
jag

connecting...

photo by jag

This past week, I had the opportunity to re-connect with two different friends from the past.  It had been years since I had spent face-to-face time with either one of them... and in both cases, conversation went from zero to sixty in 10 seconds flat!  We very quickly went from the level of "so, what have you been up to?" to "here is where I'm at on my Life journey and it's tough, isn't it?!"  It was a joy to be in the presence of such trust.

I'm thinking that part of the reason is this age of wisdom that we are reaching... I know that, the older I get, the less tolerance I have for "small talk".  I have a growing awareness and desire for real connection.  Connection at the soul level.  And it really isn't all that complicated; all I need to do is be willing to reach out and to be vulnerable in the presence of another.

Simple, yes - but not always easy.  Which is why this past week, I have been grateful for the ease of friendship and for the courage to be true.

gratefully yours,
jag

when gratitude doesn't come...

This was the scene for my run on Friday.  I was not grateful for the newly fallen snow. Not one bit.  It took every bit of will power I had to go out running in this (and a commitment to run with a friend!).  And with every step forward, it seems I slipped two steps back. It was a messy, slow slog of a run.

I am done with winter... Done. And yet, it persists.  Another 15cm - 20cm of the white stuff is falling down on us.  Today and apparently tomorrow too. Did I mention that I. am. done?!?

So, what does one do when there is a clear lack of gratitude towards something that is entirely non-controllable?  No. Seriously. What does one do?!  As someone who is striving to live life fully grounded in gratitude, I am truly humbled by my inability to live that way when faced with such a trivial circumstance. 

Sometimes, it seems easier to view a situation through the lens of gratitude when it's the BIG stuff of life.  Like yesterday for example.  We learned that Hubby's aunt passed away.  She was the eldest of the remaining sisters (fondly known as "the Council" :-)) and had recently celebrated her 94th birthday.  Her death came fairly quickly, and it is not particularly surprising for someone who has lived such a full, long life.  Upon hearing the news, I thought to myself: Well, I'm grateful she went quickly.  I'm grateful the family was able to celebrate her birthday with her last month.  I'm grateful she was able to see the scrapbook that the nieces & nephews put together.  I'm grateful... 

When faced with death, gratitude came easily.  When faced with snow, it was nowhere to be found.

Perhaps this is because we need to make sense of the big stuff, like death.  And love. 

And gratitude makes sense.

So, tell me... what do YOU do when gratitude seems to be nowhere to be found?

gratefully yours,
jag

all roads lead to jason mraz

OK, so maybe not ALL roads, but Jason Mraz has certainly been a big part of my gratitude journey!   Those of you who know me may be aware of my... um... affection for Mr. Mraz.  I don't listen to music all that much, but I will listen to every. single. word. that Jason Mraz may be inspired to write/sing.  His lyrics and his music feed my soul and to see him in concert is an experience that will never grow old.  NEVAH!  So much of what I love about Jason has to do with his attitude.  His attitude of gratitude.


Take the name of his 2009 tour, for example.  This is my friend Danielle wearing the t-shirt from that year's tour:  The Gratitude Café Tour.  (We had the pleasure of seeing him in Toronto that year.)  Although I was aware of the power of gratitude in my life, it was this pure celebration of gratitude that stayed with me.  Maybe this was something that was not meant to stay between me and my God, but rather, something that was meant to be shared... sung... yes, celebrated!

THEN, in 2011, Jason Mraz partnered up with Energy Muse and co-designed the Gratitude Bracelet. 

"This Energy Muse piece was designed to help you align with the practice of Gratitude. Gratitude shifts our attention back to love, abundance, and the divine qualities we all have within us. As we express our gratitude awareness grows. Gratitude is what takes you to the next level. This bracelet, co-created by Jason Mraz, was inspired by Café Gratitude, a school of transformation guised as a raw food restaurant." Energy Muse Web Site

So, hubby had it easy in the buying-birthday-gift department that year...

Me:  Hon, I'm gonna send you a link, OK?
He:  OK, why?
Me: Well, just in case you hadn't decided on what to buy me for my birthday...
He:  Yes...?
Me:  Well, just get me this.

And he did.  Good, good hubby.  :-)


And so now, every day, I wear this visible reminder of my gratitude.
And of Jason Mraz.
Oh, and of my loving & smart hubby, of course.

What about you?  How do you keep your gratitude within reach?

gratefully yours,
jag

daring greatly

"Wouldn't it be cool to find out what other people are grateful for?"

Frig.

This one little question just wouldn't let go. I was on a mid-winter vacation in Miami Beach, basking in gratitude for all the blessings in my life, and this simple thought popped into my head.

For reasons unknown to me, this thought migrated from my head to my heart and triggered the idea of the gratitude project. I have often had ideas and have done nothing to follow through on them. The perfect excuse would show up at the perfect time, and I'd go with that.

This time, the words "daring greatly" from Brene Brown danced in my heart... And a timely article on the value of failure asked me the question: "When was the last time you failed at something? What did you learn from the experience?" I knew I wanted to celebrate gratitude in some big way this year, but truth was that I was afraid my idea would flop. Big way = big flop. Big time.

But I reached out to a few trusted advisors and began to give voice to my idea. the gratitude project began to take shape... I began to grow in confidence and to welcome the opportunity to dare greatly. And so, here we are!

the gratitude project is a social engagement experiment that seeks to engage people in a conversation around gratitude. This blog is just the starting point: guest bloggers, featured resources, personal reflections... I invite you to join me and contribute in your own was as the experiment unfolds!

gratefully yours,
jag