emerging from silence...

photo by jag

Emerging from silence is never easy for me.  I struggle with it. Every. Single. Time.  And this time is no different.  Although, I must admit, I did not reach a very deep level of internal silence during this retreat.  I'm in a creative phase right now... a fertile time of ideas with a mind that resists slowing down.  What I did manage, however, was to honour my need for a physical slowing down.  In other words...

I slept.
And slept.
And slept.

Then I had a nap.

I had moments of stillness of body where I would just... 

sit
and listen
and ponder.

photo by jag

I went to the woods and made direct contact with the trees and the mulch-y forest floor. 

I breathed in the spicy aroma.

I attended a concert featuring a solo performance by a young robin perched upon the top branch of the endlessly tall pine tree outside my room window.

And I prayed some goodbyes.


The recent death of my aunt brought me back in touch with other losses that had not been properly or fully acknowledged.  "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

And I was.

It sounds much to simplistic to say "I am grateful" for my time at Stillpoint.  So I won't just speak my gratitude.

I will stand in it.
I will claim it and own it.
I will pray it.
I will express it by doing my best to fully accept and live the day I am given.

I will breathe it in.
I will breathe it out.

gratefully yours,
jag

be grateful... be quiet...

self-portrait by jag

The silence is there within us. What we have to do is to enter into it, to become silent, to become the silence. The purpose of meditation and the challenge of meditation is to allow ourselves to become silent enough to allow this interior silence to emerge. Silence is the language of the spirit.

— John Main, OSB in Word into Silence


In the fall of 2000, my life was in free-fall crisis.  I reached out to a friend and asked her if she knew of a place I could go and "hide" for a while.  I clearly remember saying: I need to step away from the world - even for just a few days.  She knew of a place... a silent house.  A place called Stillpoint House of Prayer.  It was small and welcoming.  Unstructured and affordable.  Easily accessible.  And when I called on that October day - at the height of fall colours season - they had a room available.  In hindsight, I believe that my Healing Place had been awaiting my arrival.

During that first visit - my first experience of unstructured silent retreat - I experienced unconditional love and acceptance.  I felt deeply that, no matter what would happen in the days ahead, I would be OK.  It was the beginning of an ongoing relationship with, and befriending of, Silence.  And that is a gift for which I am ever grateful.

This week, I will be returning to Stillpoint for a 5-day retreat into silent solitude.  I try to go twice a year, spring and fall, for a "spiritual tune-up".  No TV. No computer, iPad or iPhone. No radio.  Just me... Being. Attempting to become the Silence, to converse in the language of the Spirit.

Because I had both "gratitude" and "silence" in mind as I sat down to write this, I googled the two words together and, after a click here and a click there, I was lead to this video of Timber Hawkeye at TEDxHonolulu (2012).  In it, he states that the two concepts that will change the world are:

1. Be GRATEFUL
2. Be QUIET

I can attest that these two practices have changed MY world - I have no reason to doubt it could change yours too. 



gratefully yours,
jag

p.s.  Be sure to stop by the blog while I'm away - I've arranged to have some goodies delivered in my absence... :-)