Today, I am grateful for grief... this phenomenon that gives me permission to feel the full impact of sadness and loss without thinking I'm losing my mind. It unites me with others who are experiencing the same loss. It's one of my membership cards into humanity. No apologies necessary.
My aunt passed away on Saturday. Unlike last week, this time I can say "I was there". I had the privilege of being by her side for the last two days of her life. And that is a gift no one can take away from me. Today, we will gather as family and community and we will say continue to remember her. And yes, I grieve.
And yesterday, I cried as I heard my husband's voice on the phone. He was in Boston to cheer on friends who were running in the Boston Marathon. I am grateful that he is safe, as are all our friends. But our running community has been hard hit. I grieve the loss of innocence... the loss of safety surrounding this activity that is such a big part of our lives.
I attended the Boston Marathon as a spectator in 2010, 2011 and again last year. Hubby was running and it was a cause for celebration! The atmosphere is unlike anything I had ever experienced, mostly due to the pride & recognition of the hard work required for each and every runner to get to that famous start line in Hopkinton. I have stood at the very spot where the explosions created their chaos and horror. My heart aches for all who were there: for those who were directly affected by the blast most of all... but also for those who were still running and who, miles away from the finish line, were told their race was over... and for those who had already crossed the finish line and whose accomplishment has been eclipsed by this senseless act... For this, and for reasons I can't even articulate yet, I grieve.
Good grief. Welcome to the human race.
Yes, even today, I am...
gratefully yours,
jag
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